Anger Management (Revised)

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First and foremost, keep in mind we are saved by Gods Grace and not of our own doing - Eph 2:5 even when we were dead through our trespasses, God made us alive together through Christ (by grace have you been saved),  There are times we all experience anger at some point of time, Jesus did when he was in the temple Mat 21:12.   It comes down as too, whether the anger is controlled, the reason behind the anger and the choices we make during the episode of anger. 

Today I am discussing those moments when the anger is out of control, and steps that can be taken to regain what was lost.  A big misconception when one is expressing anger eg. yelling, being abusive, both verbally or physically is the person feels as though they have some sort of control over the other (that they are actually abusing).  I say it is a misconception as really rather than gaining control of the other person, they have lost control over their own feelings and or emotions.  This is usually evident to the individual concerned once they have been removed from the anger source that had sparked the outburst.  Out of control anger (=Sin, 2 Cor 12:20) and needs to be repented from, Jesus teaches us to forgive before we ask for forgiveness Mat 18:35, this can be quite a challenge at the best of times. 

Lets look at a scenario that could take place in a place of work; the day starts off well and the day is started with a Bible reading and prayer before going to work.  Shortly after commencing work the Boss comes out and accuses the person of doing something that has not been done and not for the first time.  Initially they take it sweet on the chin as the verse that was read in the morning told them to turn the other cheek (Mat 5:39) however the Boss concerned decides to really lay it on adding further blame.  During this time anger starts to well up inside and continues to grow until, out from no where comes a loud out burst often followed or combined with abuse; you maybe reading this and be able to relate it to an incident to your boss, wife, husband, brother, sister etc.

During the time the person may even feel justified and why not the Boss got it wrong?  all as I can say here is two wrongs do not make a right.  As a Christian self control and forgiveness are two key aspects that God requires even though we do have a safetynet of forgiveness, we need to aim for righteousness Eph 6:14.  God calls us to righteousness and it may be asked here what is that? Jesus is our example he was tested in all the same areas as we have and will be, however chose to walk in the path of the Father and not into temptation. Heb 4:15.  Here is an example of God's way, Jesus is with his Disciples when they come to take him to the cross Luke 22:50-51, there is obvious fear and anger from others at the time (no doubt also from him) and one of his followers takes off  the ear of a "High Priest", Jesus even though he knew what was about to happen healed the High Priest living the example of what he Preached eg Mat 5:39.  
 

Back to, whilst feeling those emotions build up it is a good idea to take a few deep breaths and during these moments, ask yourself and God, is this an over response? If so, and taking a couple of deep breaths and prayer doesn't give you back the control of your emotions; why not ask if you can be excused and re continue the conversation at another time?  During this time both can reflect on what has happened or been said and hopefully can become part of the resolution. As you can see we do have choices, we just need to choose the correct one it is not a point of who is right and who is wrong rather it is about how the message is delivered. 
 

Whilst having the time out, put the problem behind for a little while, listen to some relaxing Christian music, pray and ask God's Spirit to guide you, focus yourself on prayer (talking to God).  Ask for forgiveness from God and consider how you will approach the other person to ask forgiveness from them as well.  Remember this is not about who is right or wrong rather your relationship with God and the other person.  Ideas of how to resolve the issue will come to mind; part of resolving the issue it to keep yourself and emotions in control.  God has given us the Holy Spirit as a helper and comforter in times of need John 14:16 .  Pray in the spirit Rom 8:26 as some times we just do not know what to pray but try to pray with the mind also.  Seek God's wisdom Luke 21:15, meditate on God's Word Jos 1:18, no we are not judged by the law however it is our guide book to righteous living.  Remember no matter what, God loves you, he has paid the penalty himself for our sin, he provides us with the Holy Spirit as a comforter and teacher however he has given us free will which means we make the choices and any choice has a consequence.  Most importantly read the bible, daily learn memory verses and pray often, 1 Cor 13:4-13 meditate on this, learn it off by heart.  Faith comes by reading God's word, praying, spending time with other active Christians. and confessing our beliefs. 

God Bless and Keep you feel free to contact us here